Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Last Minute Decision

As I sit writing this, I have two hours and four minutes to register to vote ... rather to change my registration. I registered last year at my current address as a Democrat (of course). Then last month, I did something rather curious. I switched my registration to Republican. Republicans are like ISIS supporters. They are either stupid brainwashed creatures, evil brainwashing creatures, or some combination that involves a lot of self-deception. And now I am one. Fear not dear reader. I haven't gone to the dark side. I am more of a sheep-dog in wolf's clothing. I'm planning on voting strategically. As I said before, I have chosen Hillary for complicated reasons.

At first, I planned to vote for Trump. He's so vile and disgusting. He says horrible things about women and brags about the size of his cock on national TV. He has switched sides on nearly every position he ever held. Sometimes, it only takes him a day to change course. He flip-flopped on accepting White Supremacists' endorsements within one day. He changed his mind similarly quickly as to whether women who have abortions out to be punished. He blatantly panders to the prejudices and the short attention spans of average Republican voters. Surely such a vile, shallow, creature could not win a general election against either of the rather well-spoken and thoughtful Democratic candidates? So I decided to vote for Trump.

Then I thought that it would be better if Ted Cruz were nominated. Cruz is the most evil Republican this side of Dennis Hastert. His campaign is similar ISIS' jihad. They are fighting to restore the Islamic caliphate. He is campaigning to restore the Christian caliphate. Cruz is a bit cagier than Trump, though. Or at least more subtle. He doesn't talk about his dick on national TV and more subtly demeans women. I don't trust the (non-Republican) American voter to see through Cruz as easily as Trump. However, Cruz's only path to the nomination is a contested convention. He must stop Trump from winning the nomination on the first ballot and then make a crooked deals with Republican delegates and other candidates to steal the nomination. Trump's supporters will feel cheated and stay home. Many independent voters will vote Democratic in disgust. Bernie or Hillary would certainly be able to beat such a compromised candidate.

Trump needs 1237 delegates vote to win the Republican nomination on the first ballot of the convention. If he garners that number of pledged delegates (who are bound by rule to vote for him on the first ballot), then there shall be no crooked deal in any smoke filled room. Trump will be the nominee. He'll have a clear party mandate. The nominating process will be seen as clear and transparent. Before today's sweeping victories, it looked as if he would fall short. Then John Kasich and Ted Cruz made the disastrous public agreement to cede states to each other. They look weak. Now Trump has taken 105 out of 118 delegates awarded today. (Pennsylvania will award 54 at large delegates through Byzantine procedures and Cruz is likely to get many of them). Trump sits at 950 delegates and needs only 46% of the 622 remaining delegates.

Now Trump is echoing the complaints of many Bernie Sanders supporters who believe that Bernie is being screwed, that Bernie supporters are being prevented from voting, that their votes haven't been counted. Of course, this is rubbish, but the seeds of discord are sprouting and Trump is fertilizing them with bullshit. He's calling for Bernie to run as an independent. Of course, such an action would guarantee a Republican victory in November. (Remember 2000? Fuck off, Ralph Nader.) Will Bernie run as an independent? I doubt it, but it could happen. More likely, the close fought Democratic primary and rumors of voter fraud and disenfranchisement will cause many Bernie supporters to stay home in November.

Oh, wait. I just made an assumption, didn't I? I made the assumption that Hillary will win the Democratic nomination. Well, bank on it. If you don't believe me, go look at the polls again, you filthy Berner. Still don't believe me? Comment below and we can arrange a wager.

Now, I'm considering re-registering (in the next hour and eleven minutes) as a Democrat, so that I can vote for Hillary in order to make clear her mandate...

But I won't.

I won't waste my vote like that. I live in Oregon's 3rd Congressional district. The last time it elected a Republican was 1952. Of course, there will be many more Democratic ballots cast than Republican ballots. My vote will count much more on the Republican side ... however I decide to cast it. Furthermore, this district is very safe Bernie Sanders territory. His brand of Democratic Socialism (which I don't disagree with by the way) speaks loudly to the proletariat here in the People's Republic of Portland.

So I still haven't decided for whom to vote. Only that my registration shall stay Republican. Circumstances may change before I must cast my vote. There are also other considerations than keeping the Presidency blue. There are down ballot races to consider. The top of the ticket has huge influence on lower races. I'll keep you guys posted on my decision process. Stay tuned!

Oh, and if you live in Oregon and read this in the next 55 minutes, don't forget to register to vote!

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